Obviously, the Cavaliers are not participating in this year's NBA playoffs. Which is a shame, because these playoffs have been highly entertaining. If you haven't been watching, you're really kind of missing out.
Now, some of you might be thinking, I don't know man, I don't really like watching basketball without having a team to root for.
Fair enough! (Kind of.) The good news is that, if you are a fan of the Cavaliers, you can potentially have several different rooting interests during these playoffs.
For your convenience, I've ranked the teams for you:
1. Washington Wizards (lead Chicago 3-1)
Randy Wittman! Andre Miller! Drew Gooden! I can't believe that they didn't dig up, say, Eric Snow, at some point this season.
I can also tell you that, as somebody who has lived in D.C. for several years now, the sports fans here are good people. Nobody thinks of Washington as being one of those tortured cities, but they haven't had a title since the R**sk*ns won Super Bowl XXVI. Cleveland fans can almost empathize. Almost.
Obviously the Wizards were once one of the Cavaliers chief rivals in the East. Now, they're in the place where our team is trying to get to. I have a healthy respect for them, and hope the rivalry can return one day (Irving and Wall secretly hate each other, I'm pretty sure).
2. Portland Trail Blazers (lead Houston 3-1)
The only positive memory I have from July 8, 2010 was Mo Williams's reaction to everything on Twitter. I know it's silly to ever think that millionaire professional athletes "understand" or "get" us, but it really felt like Mo did. At least for that one night. I'm glad he's getting to play a role in some meaningful games again.
3. San Antonio Spurs (trail Dallas 2-1)
You may recall that Danny Green played in 20 games as a member of the Cavaliers in 2009-2010. I wrote about him during last year's Finals. He seems like a good dude to root for, because he's earned the opportunity he's been given in San Antonio.
Also, Mike Brown was previously an assistant coach under Greg Popovich, so there's that.
4. Dallas Mavericks (lead San Antonio 2-1)
Even though it's mostly a different team, Dirk Nowitzki and Rick Carlisle still hold a special place in our hearts for the 2011 Finals. To at least a small extent, they will always be the Mavaliers. At least until Dirk is gone.
5. Los Angeles Clippers (tied with Golden State 2-2)
Two words: Ryan Hollins.
Also, their owner is clearly a huge turd and it's hard not to feel bad for the guys playing for him (even though they probably already knew he was a huge turd before this past weekend).
6. Memphis Grizzlies (tied with OKC 2-2)
For those of us who are Ohio State fans, watching Mike Conley excel has been really fun.
7. Oklahoma City Thunder (tied with Memphis 2-2)
Scott Brooks ended his career by playing 43 games for Cleveland in 1997-1998. If OKC loses this series, he could lose his job, and that would be sad.
8. Brooklyn Nets (tied with Toronto 2-2)
Shaun Livingston's comeback is a pretty incredible story. Jason Collins is also a great story. For me, that's enough to override any salty feelings I still have toward Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett from their battles with the Cavaliers a few years ago.
9. Atlanta Hawks (tied with Indiana 2-2)
Danny Ferry, their General Manager, played in 723 games as a Cavalier (second-most all-time). And you can say what you want about Ferry's personnel moves when he was the GM here, but they did win a whole lot of games when he was in charge.
10. Golden State Warriors (tied with Clippers 2-2)
Ummm. Marreese Speights? The brothers of two other guys the Cavaliers tried briefly?
11. Charlotte Bobcats (trail Miami 3-0)
Tyler Zeller's brother?
12. Indiana Pacers (tied with Atlanta 2-2)
Donald Sloan and Ohio State's Evan Turner are cancelled out by the fact that this team was willing to pay money to Andrew Bynum.
13. Toronto Raptors (tied with Brooklyn 2-2)
No real Cavaliers connections here. I guess Canada is cool though.
14. Chicago Bulls (trail Washington 3-1)
I mean, thanks for Luol Deng, but I still haven't forgotten about this:
Or this.
15. Houston Rockets (trail Portland 3-1)
Dwight Howard is a goofball who helped knock the best Cavaliers team of my lifetime out of the playoffs. Omri Casspi sucked during his time here and then demanded a trade. I won't be shedding any tears for those guys when Houston is eliminated.
16. Miami Heat (lead Charlotte 3-0)
No words necessary here.
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